Turmoil

Some find it difficult to understand the need Shamans have to seek guidance, are we not the wise ones, the seers, healers, all knowing guides for those we hold space for? Yes we are teachers, healers, guides to others, but all knowing definitely not. We are conduits of our guides and ancestors. Guides who have travelled with us since the dawn of time, a soul family always there to steer us back on track, to advise, support, and remind us of lessons we need to remember.

I was listening to a podcast the other day, a Siberian Shaman was explaining the role of Shaman in her culture. She said the Shamans of her tribe guide trainees through a series of trials and initiations which reveal their own mental torment. It is only when  the initiates can release their own traumas can they begin to learn to do the same for others. 

I found it resonating deeply within, seeking guidance is not a weakness. Guidance is the opportunity to examine our lives and make changes for the better. Guidance is not thrust on us, unlike the screaming words of social media telling us what to do at every turn, everything guidance offers is at our behest. We aren't forced kicking and screaming into monumental change, guidance merely plants the seeds and allows us to nurture them or throw them away. 

For myself, guidance has lead me on a terrible dance, opening my eyes to the darkness within. Guidance endowed me with the knowledge that each of us carry wounds. Locked away deep in the psyche, remnants of previous lives, ancestral traumas passed down through family lines. Wounds that tighten their grip until we accept her wisdom and face them head on. I've gone deep within, revisited the past, seen the truth of situations with new eyes, released blame and fear, emerged wiser and stronger, equipped with the knowledge that healing is a perennial path, and stepped gladly onto it with the courage to keep going.

Guidance shows her face when we find ourselves in turmoil. When we find ourselves looking at the world with fear, seeing the surface fade away as we fall into the depths, drowning under the pressure of unresolved issues we've hidden deep in the recesses of our soul. But turmoil is clever it doesn't always manifest in true form, it can niggle away, planting ideas that seem plausible, then leads us back to the place we started, wasting time, money, and energy, until we seek it's cause. The very reason I sought guidance today. Nothing major, just a niggling doubt that kept me stuck. What follows is the Shamanic journey I experienced today, I have felt dull lately, unable to find direction, not because I have no idea what I want to do, but because I had no idea where to begin. Leaving me in a state of turmoil, panic, self doubt and all the other emotions we experience when our minds are out of balance.

This morning, after my tea, and the world breathed a momentary pause, I sained my ritual space with Palo Santo, called in my guides, declared my intention and opened sacred space, asking my guides for help on deciding what plans to put in place for my healing practice. As I began to journey I was brought to a place that looked like a desert, everything was ochre coloured, the sky, the sandy ground, not a soul in sight. As I walked forward I thought it might have been the Underworld, place of death and rebirth, and then realised it was the MiddleWorld, place of knowledge and intuition. I found myself beneath the branches of a tree, growing out of wet sandy soil, all was in colour now, the word TURMOIL appeared large and black, in front of me. The ground was bare, like the seashore after the tide has returned home. As I stepped forward, beneath my feet watercress began to grow, so rapidly it filled the entire space, lush and bright green, not one grain of sand left exposed to the light, as the watercress grew women and men appeared with large flat baskets, greedily picking as much as they could. Baskets piled high until the weight dragged them down into the waters that were now beginning to cover the ground. I stepped back in fright, and as I did the vision began to recede, sand once more appeared before me, the people gone. Again the word TURMOIL appeared, I became aware of my guides standing behind me and felt the urge to step forward once again. This time I stepped very gingerly, one foot testing the ground, the watercress grew again, and a woman appeared gathering it frantically in the basket she held, this time she did not drown, I recognised her as myself, although she did not resemble me, the basket filled and covered her, smothering her ability to move. As I watched the scene, I noticed a small watercress plant right at my feet begin to grow feeling its way upwards from the rest. Another one, a few inches away, did the same, until three plants stood waving in the breeze. They didn't look like the others, the first had become a periwinkle with purple flower buds emerging from the base of leaves reaching to the sun, the others morphing into different species, setting themselves apart from the rest. I reached down and plucked each one, setting them into a deep pocket in the old fashioned dress I found myself wearing, three words were whispered into my ears, and the vision ended.

Total clarity! I expect you're scratching your head thinking where??? To me it was abundantly clear what was stopping me from seeing my next step, but for others there probably is nothing, only confusion. Journeying is literally a playground for our spirit guides, they get to show us answers in the most cryptic and often confusing ways, making us work our socks off trying to understand the hidden messages within the symbolism of the visions they create. Today was a rare day when the message was clear, other times it might take days, weeks, even months to decipher. Guides are not malicious, they are privy to the causes of our discomfort. They know when the initial wound occurred and whether or not we are ready to remove it from source or break it down bit by bit until we are strong enough to eradicate it completely. I've been working on issues of clarity for quite sometime, so this answer was more like taking your homework to teacher and being shown the easy way to do a maths problem you've struggled to master. Let me explain.

I was in TURMOIL even if I wasn't admitting it, flustered and over anxious I was confusing what I thought I wanted with what I really needed. That statement came from the confusion of worlds, thinking I was in the Underworld rather than seeing the answer was in the Middleworld of truth and action. Seeing the word in front of me was literally telling me now was the time to see the problems and do something about it.  Standing by the tree with sand in front of me signified I was stuck, none of my thoughts could grow unless I moved. When I did watercress grew everywhere, so fast it covered everything, a metaphor for the multitude of thoughts that have been whizzing around inside my head. The appearance of people drowning under the weight of their greedy gathering reminded me that when we seek too much we literally drown under the overwhelming amount of thoughts we try to carry. Stepping back and slowly repeating my actions showed the one woman I recognised as myself, being overwhelmed by trying to carry too many ideas, they smothered me and stopped me doing anything. It was only when I became aware of the plants that stood out, was I able to see that there were directions I knew I needed to take, and the words I heard told me exactly what they were.

Journeying is a vital tool in my healing kit. Not only does it allow us to find answers, it allows us to find space to stop and pause, rebalancing our spiritual and physical bodies, giving us the clarity to realise when we are experiencing turmoil. Journeying opens the way for clear communication, which ultimately can change our lives in ways we only dream of.

If turmoil and overwhelm are surfacing in your life, know that they are a signal you have issues ready to be released. There is nothing wrong with you. You are beginning to awaken to the wisdom of the spirit realms, and that is a powerful call. Tackling the causes of turmoil frees us from wounds we have carried all our lives, maybe even longer, imagine the possibilities available to us once we do.

If you are interested in finding out more about Shamanic healing in all it's forms please don't hesitate to get in touch. You can use the contact form  below, follow me on social media, or drop me an email on the contact us page. 

May the blessings of my heart find their way to yours.